Before my husband and I got married 6 years ago, I basically told him “Hey, I don’t believe in divorce okay? I’m in this ’til death do us part’. We can either work together and make this a happy ‘for the rest of our lives’ or we can make it miserable. I just want you to confirm we are in this together.”
Basically, what I meant was either we can work together as a team to make this marriage work for the long haul, or we can make things 10 times harder by making poor decisions that will cause us to push through situations of anger, hurt and trust issues for years to come.
I knew we wouldn’t like each other 24/7 and having been in a long relationship prior to meeting my husband, I knew the “goo goo eyed” love phase wasn’t permanent. Eventually we would have arguments, and eventually we would discover little ticks that work our nerves, although they never did before.
However, I think it makes a significant difference in the long run when you look at your marriage as a definite instead of something temporary. If you have the mindset “oh if he did this I would do this” and “if she did that then I’d leave”, then you aren’t thinking of your relationship as a true commitment. Til death do us part, is exactly what it says and it’s up to both of you to work through and make things function as one. It’s team work. It’s HARD work. But when you focus on each other and overcoming obstacles life throws at you together, you grow stronger together.
If you are planning your wedding, and more importantly working to build a solid foundation for your marriage, I highly suggest you both sit down and have a similar conversation to the one I had 7 years ago. Make sure you both agree that this is important and that you want to work together as a team from here on out!
I’m rooting for y’all!