He popped the question. You said “Of course!”
Now there is a wedding to be planned!
But who will you have beside you on this wedding planning journey? Your hubby-to-be? Yes, but he will probably only be interested in a few details of the day and all of the other decisions will be yours for the choosing….and that, my lady, is where your family and bridesmaids come into play. There are PLENTY of decisions to make while planning your wedding day, and you need a dependable squad to help keep you positive and be the tie-breaker when you love two different shades of blue just as much as the other.
So how do you select your ultimate Bridesmaid Squad? What is the difference between a Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor, and a Bridesmaid? And what are the bridesmaids responsibilities?
We are about to knock out each one of these questions in this one post (PLUS we have a few fun ideas for asking your gals to be part of your Bridesmaid Squad) – are you ready? Let’s do this!
Question 1:What is the difference between a Maid of Honor, Matron of Honor, and a Bridesmaid?
The Maid of Honor is traditionally a sister or best friend of the bride. This person is the bride’s right hand throughout the wedding planning process. She is sort of the “captain” of the bridal party. She helps the bride corral the bridesmaids and keep them organized and on schedule. She often gives a speech at the rehearsal dinner or reception. It is a lofty title that comes with a lot of responsibility and this should be taken into account when selecting the person to fill the role. Will they have time to accompany you to things you need help with? Are they a good communicator? Is their regular life already too busy for them to fulfill the duties of this role?
A Matron of Honor either partakes in or shares the responsibility of the Maid of Honor, except the primary difference is in some circles, THIS person is an already married advisor. She’s been through this process before so she can provide some insight.
A Bridesmaid is a member of the wedding party as one of the bride’s close family members or friends. They lend a listening ear, give advice on décor and music. In some instances, they organize (and often foot the bill for) the bridal shower and/or bachelorette parties. They help with registries. Some of the best bridesmaids I’ve seen act as the Bride’s Ambassadors; they man the guestbook at the reception, they’re social, they guard the gift table, they dance with great Uncle Joe from the Groom’s family even if it’s out of reluctance. This role sometimes comes with considerable cost if they are going to be responsible for bridal showers and the like and this is also something that should be kept in mind before you pop the other big question.
Question 2: How do you select your ultimate Bridesmaid Squad?
The Bridal Party should be YOUR #squadgoals. It’s composition should consist of people who mean the most to you, have shaped who you are and been influential in your life or will be in your new family. Sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, best friends, neighbors and the like should make up your bridal party. It’s also ok to ask people that are close to the groom that you love and respect as well (i.e. his sisters) if you feel comfortable. The other big thing to keep in mind in time and money. Will they have the time to make it to fittings? Are they close to a location of your chosen seamstress or dress shop or are they too far? Can they pay for their gown (if you aren’t footing the whole bill)? You don’t want to ask someone who more than likely can’t and put them in a situation that they’ll feel bad about having to decline your offer or put themselves in a bad spot trying to meet the obligations.
Question 3: What are a Bridesmaid’s Responsibilities?
While we did touch on some of the responsibilities when we explained the differences in each role, we want to go a little more into detail and stress the fact that this isn’t a one size fits all list. Just like every wedding is unique so is every bridal party and as such, so will be the responsibilities of those in it. In some wedding parties, those whose accept roles are not responsible for paying for their own attire, let alone any parties or showers. In some wedding parties, just the Maid of Honor pays for the Bachelorette party. It’s all really up to you, as the bride.
That said, typically, bridesmaids are responsible for helping pick their gowns and paying for them. They usually split the cost and organize the bridal shower (yes, this often means coming up with toilet paper dress games and that kind of thing. But don’t fret. It really is a blast). Your biggest responsibility as a bridesmaid, however, is to provide moral support to the bride. Be there when she needs you. Give advice, but remember this isn’t your wedding. Provide feedback and be honest but be mindful of the Bride’s feelings. When she gets frazzled, comfort her and offer to step in. Because that’s what friends are for and Bridesmaids are that and then some!
BONUS: Fun Ideas on How to Ask!
- Store bought kits
With the advent of “promposals”, Bridesmaid proposals weren’t far behind. A few retailers, like Bed, Bath & Beyond have jumped on the bandwagon and carry items like Kate Aspen’s boxed set that includes a cute mug, some sunglasses and lots of glitter. Of course, there are others out there, but the general idea is cutesy swag will always get an excited “yes!”
- Homemade Kits
Like the store bought kits above, some brides choose to go the personalized route and make swag bags with things that they know their friends will like, novelties that hint at inside jokes, and more. It’s a customized twist on the above idea that may score you some extra squeals with that yes. Check our PINTEREST PAGE for some fun inspiration!
- Dinner Date
Make your next girls’ night a little more to celebrate by asking your friends to play a vital role in the first day of the rest of your life. Nothing says “I want you to be in my wedding” like wining and dining.
- Special Delivery
All of us like getting flowers and or candy out of the blue. The only way to make that sweeter is if its accompanied by an offer you can’t refuse, like standing behind your friend as she takes her beau’s last name! Send a bottle of wine with a glass that pops the question for you or maybe just a nice card with a half dozen of roses. With the myriad of delivery services available at the tips of our fingers today, this would be a breeze!
How did you ask YOUR bridesmaids, or what ideas do you have? Comment and let us know!